Why I’m leaving Shanghai
I’ve had the pleasure of making many friends here in Shanghai, and my family and friends back in L.A. are always wondering when I’ll be coming home, so this is an excerpt of an e-mail I sent to one of my friends (Helen) explaining my reasons for leaving Shanghai specifically, and a bit more insight into the oddity of a brain that is mine.
“Hey Helen,
I’m living quite a borgeois (sp?) lifestyle right now, grabbing a coffee or a caesar salad in the morning, reading books, checking e-mail and my stocks on the net, spending some time in the steam room at the gym, then hanging out with friends for dinner and drinks. It’s pretty nice, kind of makes me doubt why I’m leaving Shanghai. But, in a way, it also makes me realize that it’s my shitty job (English teaching) here that is really lame.
Another thing it’s made me realize is just how important it is to be happy in a job in your life. Think about it, 8 hours (approx.) a day sleeping, 8 hours working. Throw in a couple hours here for commuting, another for getting ready, another for a lunch break. That’s pretty much your entire life, working and sleeping. Kind of sad, but it’s made me realize that I HAVE to be happy in my job. I WON’T wake up a fat, bald, middle manager, salesman, lawyer, English teacher, whatever, unless I really love what I’m doing.
So, this is my quest. BUT, you’re saying, what’s that got to do with Shanghai, right? I mean, I’m sure whatever my passion is, I can probably find it in Shanghai, I agree. My only beef with Shanghai is this:
You know me. I’m a pretty humble guy, down with the common man. Walking around Shanghai, I feel such a divide between me and the average Chinese person walking down the street. I honestly don’t like this feeling, I like to be one of those common people, feel in common with those people. Even in a developed country like Japan, it’s difficult (actually, I’ve found impossible) for me to blend in with society. Probably because everyone is Japanese there, I’ll always be an oddity. (don’t get me wrong, sometimes this has plenty of benefits, I’m not complaining!)
If you mix this with me coming from a totally different background (educationally, financially, etc.) than Chinese as well, it just shows me that I’ll always be stuck in this expat bubble in Shanghai, and frankly, I’ve grown tired of that bubble.”